proof that everything doesn't bother me

so i figured after posting that extensive list of my 'pet peeves' the other day, that i should probably show i'm not the world's most irritable human being. so i've created a list of things i like/love/make me happy. so here it goes. and i've left plenty of stuff out that i just can't think of right now. see? i really am a happy person :-) most of the time...haha

• revolving doors
• clean sheets
• payday
• turquoise. my favorite color
• sitting in booths at restaurants. i just don't like tables.
• chapstick
• when i get a really big score on WWF
• seeing other people get pulled over. just keep those blue lights awayyy from my car. 
• music. just music in general. i cant begin to name my favorite artists b/c they're so random & many. music just makes me happy. in the car. at home. at gym (when i go). anywhere. unless it's country. then i'm anti-happy.
• blue jeans
• being barefoot. esp in grass. without anthills or anything prickly.
• playing board games. or basically any games. but not video games. except a few on the wii (i.e. guitar hero, mario kart, etc.). i loveee apples to apples & the game of things. & catchphrase.
• sweet tea. chickfila's is always on pointtt, as far as fast food goes. and i'm really picky about my tea. trust me.
• when im approaching a stoplight & there's no one in front of me, but there is someone sitting in the other lane at the red light, but it turns green so i just fly by them. lol i love it
• ice cream. my weakness.
• monkeys. penguins. baby giraffes. clown fish. baby koalas. teacup pigs. that's my extensive list of favorite animals/fish.
• ...oh, & seahorses. how can you NOT love them? they're freaking adorable & awesome
• old school disney movies. my 3 favs are Aladdin, Little Mermaid, & Peter Pan. but i have em all. on vhs. and a book. and twin sheets. & other various merchandise & toys & bikes. i was a disney gangster kid
• the fresh clean feeling you get right after washing your face & brushing your teeth before bed
• not wearing makeup. i may look a hot mess, but gah i love fresh face. & putting on makeup is just hella aggravating anyways
• a billion wall posts, texts, & phone calls on your birthday
• well, basically my birthday in general. its always a big event. and i love it.
• whoever invented ponytail holders. & ponytail holders. lifeeesaverrr
• swimming in the ocean
• being tan
• finding sharks teeth on the beach
• naps
• being sarcastic
• when im in the car by myself. so i can sing as loud & horrible as i want. or try and get serious without anyone judging me. but then realize i still really sound like crap.
• days that i dont have to set an alarm for the morning
• tailgating for football games
• being so hyper &/or deliriously tired that i think everything is funny
• acting like a total retarded weirdo
• looking at the bottom of my receipt at the grocery store & seeing that i saved a lot using my MVP card
• looking at old pictures
• talking about old funny stories. like we did the other day about us in high school. haaaa WOW. 
• free stuff. and not like the crap. like good stuff. like free cheese dip on wednesdays at san joses. lol. priorities.
• sam's club. it's just a massive warehouse of bulk-size awesomeness. & they have samples.
• thunderstorms. esp if its when im sleeping or ab to go to sleep. but not when i have to be outside. that just pisses me off. & whoever invented umbrellas is an idiot...they have METAL. wth?
• painting & coloring (but preferably with skinny markers)
• when i drop something or almost fall, & i go into ninja mode & amaze myself by catching it/myself. or when i have crazy ninja reflexes. kinda same thing. 
• being on the elevator by myself. it just gets so awkward with other people. esp if its just 1 other. but a lot of ppl is kinda ok.
• that moment in a restaurant when you see your food coming
• not having to wait in line. anywhere. i have zero patience
• when i dont put money in a parking meter & still dont get a ticket
• high fives. esp with both hands. so enthusiastic. so awesome.
• good hair days. rare.
• when i check my bank account & the balance is higher than i thought itd be
• making other people laugh/smile
• movies. all kinds. im a huge movie fanatic. 
• the cold side of the pillow
• old-school nickelodeon cartoons. and "one saturday morning" cartoons (umm Recess..YES)
• slides. and swings. but not tire swings. they make me sick
• roller coasters. but not the old rickety ones. the newer legit ones (top gun, borg, etc.)
• christmas morning seeing what santa brought. & yep, i still get santa. & i'm proud.
• the funny things little kids & toddlers say. where do they get 1/2 that stuff??
• saying my prayers before bed at night
• magazines. mainly to look at the clothes & read funny stories (if they have em)
• the crossword puzzles in People. and sudoku puzzles
• going to buy school supplies. this is the first year since i was 5 that i cant do it. and im depressed. i may go anyways. that was my favorite part of school
• good quotes. esp inspiring ones.
• getting mail. even if it is junk mail. (not email...like old school snail mail). & a package? WOO they're really exciting. but rare. 
• hats. i love em. perfect for bad hair days but can be cute too. 
• carolina gamecocks & lsu tigers. my teams.
• when i see a train coming but i get past the tracks before those bars start coming down
• sucking helium out of balloons & talking like a chipmunk
• cake batter/cookie dough. better than the actual stuff.
• when i get a new air freshener in my car
• toys of the 90s (skip it, pogs, giga pets, etc....just NOT furby. aggravating creature thing)
• the big birthday sleepovers i used to have every year
• when im cold & get my laundry out of the dryer & theyre all warm so i hold on to em for a second. lol
• butterflies

so yeah. thats extensive too. and im just tired & sick of thinking now so im going to bed. that's that. my life has been disappointingly typical the past 2 days. no crazy stories. i'm sure i'll have some soon. holla!

-J

filling in a couple blanks

Ok so I've been asked about my 2 traumatic childhood events that i mentioned in my pet peeves list. About gasoline & escalators. Totally unrelated though...never fear! However, I am scarred from both.


Gasoline:
this unfortunate event is all my mothers fault. i'm just gonna go ahead and say it. not that i haven't already told her that multiple times already...but thats not the point. sooo, i'm 5 years old. that's right. FIVE. as in kindergardner who cant even multiply or write in cursive yet. my mom & i are en route to drop me off at my babysitters, when she for some UNKNOWN reason, gets the bright idea to let me pump the gas. for the first time ever. at the ripe age of FIVE. so i grab the nozzle, & attempt to put it in the gas tank, but i miss of course b/c the thing is almost as big as i am. & b/c she gave me little-to-no directions, i'm pressing the lever...& gas is going everywhere BUT the gas tank. i lose control & it starts spraying all over myself, the car, & the ground. Then my mom finally notices the situation when she gets out of the car & i began to spray her down, by accident ;) so she eventually grabs the thing & cuts it off. i am now the most highly flammable kindergardner in lancaster county. we attempt to "bathe" me with wet paper towels in the stank texaco bathroom, mom fills up the tank herself (thank GOD gas wasnt as expensive as it is now, because i wasted a lot..i mean a lot. hope no one threw any lit cigs on the ground later.), and we head to babysitters. who looks at my mother as an abusive parent when i come in wet & REEKING of gasoline. so that was that. i dont think i pumped gas again until at least middle school. lesson learned for mother.

Escalator:
so the elevator experience was a little later. i was still elementary school, probably 7-8 yrs old. the whole family (well except the guys, obviously) was at the mall for christmas shopping & to take our pictures with santa claus. we're in one of those department stores, probably freakin Belk's. gah i hate that store. anyways, we were about to go upstairs, so of course i ran ahead as i'm always ready to move on to the next place. everyone was getting ready to get on the elevator, so i went ahead..but like a dang retard, i only put 1 foot on the escalator. i turn around to see them standing there talking about how to get a stroller on the escalator, when i realize my leg is moving up the escalator without the rest of my body. so here i am, being stretched into a full split (thank god for childhood flexibility), when i start screaming at my mom to help me. whyyyyy i didnt just move my other leg, i. dont. know., but it eventually made it so i rode to the 2nd floor just casually doing a split on the escalator...but really freaking the heck out. SO, that event (combined w/the fact that my mom always said escalators would suck you into where those green lights are if you didnt jump off at the end...WHO TELLS A CHILD THAT?) kept me riding elevators only (or taking stairs) for a few years.

i never realized i had so many problems with things

so as i drove to cola at the buttcrack of dawn this morning, i encountered many things that annoyed me. mainly for 2 reasons: 1) i'm not exactly the most pleasant person in the am hours. pretty irritable. esp when i have to drive an hour. to work. when i'd rather be sleeping. 2) i have road rage. and basically zero patience for anything i don't like while i'm driving. .

so since my iPod thing wasnt working worth a flying crap, i thought up a quite extensive list of pet peeves of mine. and this made me realize that there is a LOT of stuff that gets on my nerves. lol

well here it goes, in no particular order:
-slow drivers
-tractor trailer trucks in the fast lane
-cars in the fast lane who still won't get over even though 7 cars have passed them
-cops
-wet grass on my feet (if im barefoot or wearing sandals)
-when my sheets come untucked at the end of my bed
-really yankee accents
-when people walking around or in front of you blow cigarette smoke in your face. well, just cigarette smoke in general actually.
-assholes
-liars
-people who are cocky. esp the people who have absoLUTEly no reason to be cocky in the first place.
-girls who act ditzy and stupid around guys
-people who take pictures of themselves in the mirror
-when my waitress refills my cup but there are only 2 little ice cubes in there
-the smell of gas (this relates to a traumatic childhood event)
-going to get gas. esp when bums come up asking for money
-when someone calls/texts you, & you call/text right back & get no response. what the heck is that
-when commercials get obnoxiously loud
-when i finally get comfy on the couch or in bed, then realize i cant find the remote
-when my phone dies & i have no way to charge it anytime soon. this happens often cuz my phones a P.O.S
-when i actually put money in a parking meter, but get to my car only to find a parking ticket. that was written 2 minutes after it ran out.
-columbia trains. THEY COME AT THE WORST TIMES OF DAY
-the day i have to leave the beach
-when im having a really good hair day but dont even have anywhere to go that day. then the day i have somewhere important to go, a really bad hair day.
-people who +yp3 L!k3 di$
-people who use their facebook statuses to vent ab a certain person. grow a pair & tell it to their face you little loser.
-when a kid i kept at north elementary after school program is asking to be my friend on facebook. they probably had to lie about their age to even create an account
-tattle-tales. snitches get stitches.
-really judgemental people. mostly because theyre usually the ones with the most f'ed up lives and problems anyways. mind your own business
-spiders. they only exist to terrorize me, im convinced. as well as preying mantis's. i mean good lord theyre just creepy as hell looking.
-smackers. dear lord were you raised in a barn? close your mouth.
-spam email. thank you but im not an idiot. there is no $500 check in the mail for me.
-when i'm trying to drink the last sips out of my cup, and a huge ice chunk attacks my face
-when it's my birthday & people are singing to me before i blow out my candles, and i am so awkward because i dont know what to do
-when i wake up 10 minutes before my alarm goes off & can't go back to sleep
-when my leg falls asleep & i cant walk right so i look like a retard
-that moment when you know it's time to get out of the shower, but it's winter & you know you're about to be in a mild state of hypothermia for a little while
-when i forget its winter, i'm already running late, & i have to awkwardly scrape ice off my windshield and windows with whatever i can find in the morning b/c i forgot to crank my car early
-escalators. they freak me out. (also related to another traumatic childhood event)
-when there's nothing to eat in the fridge or cabinets so i just keep going back & opening & shutting them like somethings gonna magically appear
-those people who have to bring themselves or their bf/gf up in every part of your conversation
-when you're in a store with your friend(s) & you continue to talk to them, but they arent there anymore so you get awkward looks from the person who is there
-people whose "middle name" on facebook is a ghetto phrase (i.e. Sheema bitchiwillcutyou Robinson)
-when you legitly fall asleep in class, then do that awkward spaz jump & wake up & people look at you like youre crazy
-walmart. WHY DO YOU HAVE 30 AISLES WHEN THERE'S ONLY A MAX OF 3 EVER OPEN
-when i go to the store & spend way too much money & still manage to forget what i went to get in the first place
-talking on the phone. i just dont like it. unless its too lengthy or serious to talk about via text message.
-when i text really fast & select the wrong person, but i sends faster than i can cancel it
-when i think i see someone i know, so i wave real big &/or shout "heyyy!"....its not them.
-when my iPod transmitter in my car cant find a good station so i have to listen to my music with static in the background
-cats. kittens are fine. cats are not.

yeahhh i sound like such a complainer and the sad thing is, i have more. but i'll think of an "anti-pet-peeve" list & do it soon..because other than these highly aggravating things (which i know almost all of these bother others, so, whatever), im one of the most laidback people i know. despite my random bursts of hyperactivity (usually when i'm really tired & just get deliriously retarded acting....or if im on caffeine overload). k thats all byee :-)

oh. but 1 more thing to add. *when people pull out in front of me* this happens ALL THE TIME. i think theres a sign on my car that i just cant see that says "heyyy i'm cool, just go on ahead, i won't mind at all. and if you drive slow, please go on ahead. i'll love it." i dont know who put that sign there, but its gotta go. becasue this morning, a lawn mower pulled out in front of me. A. LAWN. MOWER. and not even john deere. i think it was like cub cadet. WTH. i was going over 60 mph, are you trying to die today paw paw? dont think so. better be glad i had no one beside me so i could get over real quick like. daaaaang. (phew. sorry. i had not let go of that event yet. i'm done. foreal. happy thoughts. i'm going to get water & play WWF now. ---employee of the month, that's me.)

stupid people. and other random tidbits.

So I'll just reinforce my title. I. Can't. Stand. Stupid. People. They should not be allowed to speak, hold public office or be in another influential position, or--God forbid--reproduce and make junior idiots. I know I'm not the only one who hates them but I just had to get that out there. I mean I encounter them all over the place on a daily basis. While some I would kindly like to direct to a school or educational setting of some sort, others I just really want to nail in the face with an iron skillet. Blunt force trauma...the way to go. Ok I'll get off that little rampage. I've been slightly frustrated with people lately.

Anywho, moving on to a much less angry and much nastier topic, I got puked on tonight. YAYYYY its what i've always dreamt of! no. not at all. omg i just gagged while reliving the experience in my mind. but seriously, i was just trying to sweetly give my baby cousin a bottle for the first time...little champs chugging right along, i lift him up on my shoulder to get a burp out, & BLUGHHHHH! there he blows. puke. is. everywhere. all i feel is warm formula running down my arm, in my chair, and through my hair. i dont care what anyone says..."oh babies don't puke, it's spit up." BULLSHIT that was puke. and it was nasty. if theres one thing i cant handle, its puke. i was surprised i didnt vom right then & there. but i just sat there in shock for a second, then handed him over while gagging and running to the bathroom to clean up and change clothes. oh man. it was bad. and to make it even better, apparently thats the first time he's ever done that. so now im a terrible person. or bottle feeder. or whatever. great. just great. so that was the highlight of my raging saturday night. and yes my nights already over...been over..and its 11:30. my how my life has changed over the last few weeks/months.

i began to watch Tosh's "happy thoughts" special...again...tonight. i've seen it a few times before, even watched some of it last night too, but he still manages to TRIP ME OUT every time. its like most--if not all--of the things he says come from my "not-so-happy thoughts," just in an even more offensively funny way. i love him. i would literally pay money or do something stupid to hang out with him for one day. better yet, do something stupid, film it, post it on youtube, get a web redemption, THEN get to hang out with him for a day AND be on tv. perfect. i think i just hit the jackpot in my mind. now i just have to think of something awesomely stupid that will get me millions of hits on youtube without totally shaming myself, my friends, and family. this may take a while.

i have no more thoughts at this time. other than the fact that i miss the sunshine. havent enjoyed it since i got back from vacation. 7 sad days ago. since then, ive despised it..as its been retardedly hot. i'm so ready for the crisp cool air, football games, & hoodies of fall. ok so lastly i will just share a couple of collages i put together in my intense state of boredom that has been the past week....one is basically my life in a picture. the other...well, i just like those pictures/posters/whatever the heck they are.

--J

i'm beaming excitement today

I GOT A JOB I GOT A JOB I GOT A JOB I GOT A JOB


sorry i just had to get that out.and i felt the need to make it as noticeable as possible. bold, underline, AND italic boiiiiiii. needless to say, today was AWEsome being as i got hired and all, a poor college graduate right here in the middle of a recession. B-B-B-B-BALLIN!


yeah so im excited about having paychecks. and i get to wear scrubs. and dont have to work on the weekends. or past 5:00. & its a $2 raise from my pay now. i mean can you say HALLEFREAKINGLUJAH?! i can. hallefreakinglujah. now i can go buy cute colorful comfy scrubs instead of blah blah black pants and button-up shirts. gross. so not me.


ok so off that subject, columbia decided to rain on my parade this afternoon. and i mean that quite literally. it was a torrential downpour. and of course i was clueless and didnt bring an umbrella or raincoat. (both are either at home or in storage anyways, but not the point). i;m almost always ill-prepared. so me & my coworker Shakhlan decide to make a break for it. (we lucked out with 1 of those massive golf umbrellas that was chillin in the office). just a 2 block run to my car...through flooded streets...with my jeans & sandals on...NO BIG DEAL. sike. by the time i get to my car i look like i took a shower with clothes on. & me trying to get that ridonkulous umbrella in my car couldve won a comedy award. so here i am--i also already cant see well driving without my glasses on, so i put them on. duh--driving, i mean SURFING down the street, when i come upon a baby pond. i watch as the van in front of me submerges into the street...literally almost up to the door handle. so i obviously put it in reverse for thirst, and turned the F around. 17 hydroplanes and 3 almost-wrecks later, i'm home. ready to take a shower. bc i ACTUALLY have plans tonight. but oh no, its lightning. so here i am. but dont even care, i'm STILL happy as a chocoholic in hershey, pennsylvania. :-)


oh, had to run an errand for work today. our flyyyy caravan is in the shop now--defying death apparently, b/c its a piece of crap. but IT WONT DIE. we now have a sweeet loaner Taurus. but you cant unlock the drivers door, so--in a parking lot in front of a crowd of smokers on their breaks--have to unlock the passengers door & CRAWL OVER. ghettooooooo! yeah.


i also had to run another errand in a lady in my offices car..with her of course. as i was looking around (im a very curious person), i noticed she had a total of 3 high-quality CD's. wanna know what they were? Winona Judd, Sting, & The Whispers. ummmmm yeah. no comment. moving on...


actually i have nowhere to move on to. my mind has hit a dead end. wow. thats a rarity. (spellcheck on that?). OH but 1 more thing---if you are currently playing words with friends with me right now, i'm sorry for being a loser the past couple days. been hella busy. i will be back on my game shortly. 


i'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball
--J

random thoughts for today

Hellerrrr.


yeah that was intense. but i like it. and if you're one of those odd people who haven't seen Madea, you probably think i'm even weirder than i really am for saying "heller". but no, im not. its a reference. but as i look at it, it kinda looks like a hybrid of Helen-Keller. sweet. Helen Keller is also the automatic-win-card in Apples to Apples. (basically one of the best games ever). and evennn better if the red card says "touchy-feely". bahahaha. hahaha. ha. sorryimnotsorry. as totally wrong and politically incorrect that is, i know im not the only one who thinks its funny. but now i really wanna go play apples to apples. dangit. 


wow. my mind is like a really fast & ADD hamster running on a wheel. and THAT was a very strange similie. not even sure it described me right. whatever. so i have a crucial headache today. even after popping 3 ibuprofens like skittles, its still throbbing. i would like to take a nap, but i seem to have found some extra energy somewhere. so im blogging, watching lingo, and listening to SexyBack on my iPod. im a multitasking ninja when im hyper. guess looking at this computer screen isnt gonna help my headache. but oh well. im just gonna give my headache the cold shoulder & hope it gets the point & just goes away like a little loser. 


so tomorrows friday. THANK YOU DEAR LORD BABY JESUS! BOOGITY BOOGITY AMEN! i mean, im slightly excited. it doesnt show or anything. ps...that random shout was a reference to the hilarious prayer by the guy at a nascar race. i saw it on youtube. its like a preacher meets ricky bobby...and thats who wrote that prayer. check it out. oh...and on a more random note, if you havent watched Baggage on the game show network, DO IT. this show is awesome & hilarious. and most importantly, assures me that there are WAY more weird people in the world. i mean theres some seriously freaky stuff that comes out. 


well thats all for now. im thirsty. so long gay boysss. (ps im sorry for all the movie references, i love movies, & often unnecessarily reference them in normal conversation. im not ashamed.)


peace and hairgrease. 
- J


ps: im not gonna lie. looking at THIS (see below) right before going to sleep kinda scares me. & makes u realize that sharks are pretty busted looking. i dreamed i was attacked by a shark last night. #sharkweekproblems

My favorite quotes, sayings, artwork. (this is what i do at work...shhh)

So I'm at work, but I'm bored because I've been specifically instructed to NOT do anything this week. yeah thats right. i am solely "training" the others how to do what I do. and i must say, being a dictator who just drinks water & plays Words with Friends while throwing instructions out every few minutes is actually pretty fun. Too bad dictators are frowned upon. I could see myself having a very successful career as one. Oh well.

ps:  i'm kind of worried. my morning so far was freakishly normal with no awkward events, screw-ups, clumsiness, or ANYTHING. so i'm gonna be very cautious the rest of the day because something is bound to happen. always does.

so here's some pics of my quotes & whatnot. its actually whatever i felt like putting on here. pretty random & unorganized. like myself. enjoy...

ok, so i actually got bored looking for stuff. so i may continue this later. holla! have a terrific thursday!

- J

oh the things that sheer and absolute boredom lead me to

Ok. So I've officially reached a new level of boredom. I created a blog. And don't really know what I'm doing. Or if anyone will read it. But I am SO bored, that I honestly don't care. Anyways, I guess I'll talk about my day. Cuz it turned out to be pretty great. 


I started out by going to my volunteer shift at the hospital in the NICU (which I was pretty excited about today because I havent been in almost a month because my schedule's been REE-TAR-DEDD). Anyways, it was great. I was all over the place. Kinda like a chicken with my head cut off, but with a little more direction and calmness. And my favorite nurse was there. She's freakin hilarious. And has told me numerous times that she wants me to bring my eye makeup so she can play with it. I never thought my eye makeup looked that special, since it takes me all of 2 minutes to do, but whatever floats her boat. I'll hesitantly accept a compliment every now & then :-) 


Ok so afterward I went to get ready for my job interview thing. But not at like my own place or anything. At my friends apartment. Im sketchily living in Carolines room while shes sketching it up in Lancaster for the rest of the week. Ive just made myself at home. Then theres Megan--the only other one living here, only she doesnt actually live here becasuse shes at work ALL day...I mean I am too, but shes gone till night time. So here i am, in someone elses apartment--with my own key, i might add--by myself every afternoon and night. so awkward. but i can handle it. except the noises. and when the AC like sucks a door shut and it freaks me out. but thats getting off on a tangent. sorry. BACK to the interview. this gets kinda entertaining. so here i am, finally ready--and very uncomfortable, because i hate getting reallyyyy dressed up--on my way up the interstate. so i get all dumb & confident, thinking i know where im going b/c i recognized the street name & know my way around the northeast area relatively well b/c i have family in blythewood. oh but i was wrong. so i frantically pull up the gps on my phone (it's now 2:54...my interviews at 3) & it says im 19 mins away. so im freakinnnn. but of course it takes me way less cuz i dont drive slow...but when i get to the place my gps says "not found". FANTASTIC. so i call. its now 3:01. (yeah i speed). i apologize and shes like yeah our address doesnt make sense (grrrreat)...so she tells me where to go, but of course i get all ADD and retarded and forget what she says & turn around & drive like 5 more miles out of my way & eventuallyyyy find the place. (turns out all i needed to do was drive ~1 mile in the same direction i was going...typical me). i apologize a whole lot, but the girls chill so it works out (& i wanted to go all Hangover & say "how bout that ride in?"...lol, but i decided it may not be appropriate, or understood. oh well). so all goes well in there and i get a call that i have another interview tomorrow at 1! YAYYYYY


so that was today. the rest of the day just goes kinda like...bed, shark week, The Hangover. pretty uneventful. but ive just come to the conclusion that i cant do anything normal. but im usually ok with that. makes life more interesting. MUCH more. who knows what tomorrow will hold. 


TILL THEN, hollaaaaaaaa